I'm not mad.
I'm really not.
I'm not mad at the fuck around of your words.
I'm not mad about the times you lead me astray.
I'm not mad about you turning your back
and I'm certainly not mad about you leaving my life.
I'm not upset over nights we talked.
I'm not upset over the nice words you lied through.
I'm not upset over the feelings that are lost now.
and I'm certainly not upset that I see you everyday and I grin and bare it.
I am upset that I look at the floor when i see you.
I am mad about how it all went down.
I am upset that you chose to belive lies of people and not see my truth.
I am mad about you not explaining it all to me.
I am upset that I continue to look for reason, in this past 4 months of non-communication.

I"m not mad.
I'm really not.
I miss you. thats all.
Fuck this regret. Fuck starting it all again. I just have to get this out.
thats all.
I have to stop missing your jokes.
Your smile. Your voice. Your sick sense of humor that made me so fond.
the way your eyes lit up whenever I said something funny, or something that intrigued you.
Okay. Enough, stop it. Get out of my head.
Delete.
Okay. easy enough to say.
Easy enough to do I guess.
YOu've been gone for 4 months. Yet you still lurk around in everything I say and do.
Fuck you.
I gotta move on. This is bullshit.
Farewell, goodbye, ciao, on the flip side I guess.
I'll forget you.
But you'll remember me.
And you know it.
I'm there, all the time, no matter what you do...as you are in me.
So lets forget, lets move on..
or pretend that we have.